Live Light: Understanding Overwhelm, Mental Load & Decision Fatigue
Understanding Overwhelm, Mental Load & Decision Fatigue
You wake up already thinking.
What needs to get done today?
Who needs a response?
What's on the calendar?
What did I forget yesterday?
What's for dinner?
Who was I supposed to call back?
And the day hasn't even started yet.
For busy professionals and service providers, overwhelm doesn't always look like falling apart.
Sometimes it looks like being incredibly productive.
You're answering emails between appointments. You're thinking about your next client while finishing with the current one. You're remembering what needs to happen at home while solving problems at work. You're taking care of people, making decisions, managing schedules, and checking things off the list.
From the outside, you may look like you have it all together.
But internally?
Your brain has 47 tabs open. Somewhere music is playing, but you can't figure out which tab it's coming from.
That's mental overload.
And when we live there long enough, we can start believing we need to become better at handling everything.
A better planner.
A better routine.
Waking up earlier.
More discipline.
Better time management.
What if the answer isn't learning how to carry more, but instead pausing and taking a look at what we're carrying in the first place?
Overwhelm Isn't Just Having Too Much to Do |
For me, when I think about overwhelm, I usually think about my to-do lists.
But overwhelm can come from many different directions:
Task Overload
There are simply more things to do than we realistically have time or capacity to accomplish.
Mental Overload
You're holding dozens of unfinished thoughts, reminders, responsibilities, and “don't forgets” in your head.
Decision Overload
What should I do first?
What should I eat?
When should I fit this in?
Should I say yes?
Should I say no?
Should I respond now or later?
Individually, these decisions seem small. Collectively, they're exhausting.
Emotional Overload
You're not only managing tasks. You're managing feelings, and sometimes everyone else's along with your own.
Relational Overload
Clients need you. Coworkers need you. Employees need you. Your partner needs you. Your kids need you. Your friends need you.
You can love the people in your life and still feel exhausted by being needed.
Sensory and Information Overload
Emails. Notifications. Podcasts. News. Social media. Slack messages. Texts. DMs. Background noise. Screens.
Our brains are being asked to filter an enormous amount of information all day long.
And eventually the system starts saying:
Enough.
What Overwhelm Actually Looks Like |
Here's what's interesting:
Overwhelm doesn't always make us work harder.
Sometimes it makes us do nothing, or reach for a distraction to avoid what feels overwhelming, which only eats away at our time and creates more stress.
You have ten important things to do, but suddenly you're reorganizing a drawer.
You open your computer to work and somehow end up scrolling.
You stare at your inbox and think:
I can't deal with this right now.
You become irritated by a simple question.
Someone asks, “Where do you want to go for lunch?” or “What's for dinner?” and you want to scream:
“I DON'T KNOW. WHY DO I HAVE TO DECIDE EVERYTHING?”
It's probably not actually about dinner.
It's about the accumulation of decisions, responsibilities, emotions, and unfinished tasks your brain has been carrying all day.
Overwhelm can also look like:
Procrastination
Difficulty prioritizing
Forgetfulness or feeling scattered
Irritability and impatience
Feeling exhausted but unable to relax
Reaching for quick relief through food, alcohol, shopping, scrolling, or zoning out
Feeling constantly “behind” despite accomplishing a lot
What if these aren't signs that you're failing at managing your life?
What if they're signals that your current load exceeds your available capacity?
Your Brain Has Limited Bandwidth |
There is science behind this.
Our working memory, the mental workspace we use to hold and work with information, has limited capacity.
When too many things compete for that space, it becomes harder to focus, prioritize, make thoughtful decisions, regulate emotions, and filter distractions.
Repeated decision-making adds another layer. After spending all day deciding what needs your attention, how to solve problems, who needs a response, and what can wait, even a simple question like:
“What do you want for dinner?” can feel exhausting.
This is often described as decision fatigue.
The science is more nuanced than the old idea that we simply have a “willpower tank” that runs out. But we do know that sustained cognitive demand is tiring, working memory is limited, and constantly switching between responsibilities comes with a cognitive cost.
That's why overwhelm creates an interesting paradox:
The more overwhelmed we become, the harder it can become to do the very things that would help us feel less overwhelmed.
So instead of asking:
“Why can't I handle this better?”
Try asking:
“What is asking too much of my attention right now?”
The Invisible Weight of Open Loops |
One of the heaviest forms of mental load isn't necessarily what we're doing.
It's everything we're trying not to forget.
Schedule the dentist.
Send the proposal.
Order the birthday gift.
Follow up with that client.
Fill out the school form.
Respond to that text.
Buy dog food.
Make the appointment.
Research that thing.
Call Mom.
Reschedule the appointment.
None of these things may take very long, but they're all taking up mental space.
Every time your brain reminds you, “Don't forget…” another tab opens.
One of the simplest ways to reduce overwhelm is to stop using your brain as your storage system.
Your brain is much better at thinking than remembering 37 unrelated things.
Get them out.
THE LIVE LIGHT TOOL |
The Mental Load Reset
Take out a piece of paper and write down everything currently taking up mental space.
Work. Home. Appointments. Emails. Conversations. Projects. Decisions. Worries. Errands. All the things you've been telling yourself you “should” do.
Don't organize it yet.
Just unload it.
Then go through your list using the 4 Ds:
1. DODoes this need my attention now? If yes, identify the next small, concrete action. Be specific. | 2. DELEGATEDoes this actually have to be done by me? Busy, capable people often become the default person because they're good at getting things done. But capability doesn't automatically equal responsibility. |
3. DELAYDoes this need to happen now? Not everything important is urgent. Give yourself permission to intentionally move something to another day rather than mentally carrying it every day until then. | 4. DELETEDoes this need to happen at all? Not “Could I do it?” Not “Would it be nice?” Does it actually need to be done? Sometimes the lightest thing we can do is decide: I'm not doing that anymore. |
What Actually Deserves Your Energy? |
Not everything that asks for your attention deserves your energy.
The goal is to get better at recognizing what deserves to be held rather than trying to expand to hold everything.
Become more intentional about what you carry.
Is this mine to carry, can it be shared, or do I need to let it go?
Does this need my attention today, tomorrow, or can it wait until next week?
Living lighter is about pausing, creating space for 5-10 min daily to unload, organize and prioritize using the 4 Ds.
Your Live Light Practice This Week |
When you notice yourself thinking:
“It's too much.”
Pause and ask:
What can I DO, DELEGATE, DELAY, or DELETE to make this feel 10% lighter?
You don't have to solve your entire life.
Sometimes you just need permission to close a few tabs.
Reflection Question
Look at what you're carrying right now. What could you DO, DELEGATE, DELAY, or DELETE to make your life feel a little lighter this week?
If this message encouraged you, I'd love for you to share it with someone who may need it today. And if you haven't already, subscribe so you don't miss the next installment in our Live Light Series.
With gratitude,
Nikki
Amazon best-selling author, Heal to Lead Wellness: Stories to Rebuild Your Confidence and Resilience
Comments